Ivan Bjornisson

I am going to crush you like a bug.

A large man sitting with a horned helmet looks up I know Ivan, who is looking for him?

I find swords all the time, what kind of sword do you want?

Ivan eyes the interruption with ill favor, then quickly cheers up when business is mentioned. He swats the wench on the bottom with a wink, and growls at her playfully, "Begone, wench, men need to speak now. Fetch me a sammich and more ale, and I'll get to you later." and beckons the Faekin to sit across from him. The wench immediately returns with the sandwich and ale, and impudently kisses Ivan on the neck, for which she's rewarded with a few silvers. Ivan takes a huge bite of the food, downs half the tankard, and speaks. What can I do for you? Protection? Guide services? Pickup and delivery? Kill something? Or are you in need of weapons, armor, equipment? I can do all that and more!

Ivan sits at the back of the inn, a blond inn wench on his lap wriggling about with a mischievous look on her face. One of Ivan's hands holds his tankard - the other can't be found, but the giggling of the woman gives a clue where it is. His horned helmet is on the floor next to him, and his axes lean against the table. Bare-armed and hoodless, the large man doesn't seem to feel the cold at all. As you watch, he whispers something in the wench's ear, then removes a gold chain from around his neck and places it around her neck. She laughs delightedly and exclaims, "Oh, at least an hour, milord!" Ivan quaffs his mug, and looks about to rise.

I havent' found one yet. And I'm pretty sure that when I do, whatever's carrying it will be immune to card throwing.

Never heard of him.

Ivan smirks, and beckons you inside Another pretty lady wanting to come inside to get warm. Well, be my guest!

You need something? I'm a bit tied up right now killing stuff to find a Master's Staff for Dante here, but I find lots of things, so tell me what you're looking for and I'll see if I have one. If it's something specific though, it might take a while...

Ivan stumbles out onto the porch, wearing a rabbit fur, sandals, his seax, and not much else. He has a piece of cold meat on a stick in one hand, a tankard of something strong-smelling in the other, and what appears to be makeup on his cheek. He sees the elven noble, blinks twice, grunts once, and returns inside. He re-emerges a couple minutes later, now dressed in wool and furs, his face somewhat cleaner. Behind him emerges a red-haired girl in a simple dress, her face lit by a huge smile. Ivan plucks a pink flower from the foliage on the wall of the cabin and tucks it behind her ear, then kisses her and sends her on her way with a playful slap on the bottom. She smiles again, then skips off. Ivan swings down under the porch railing and takes a seat on the planks, then looks at the elf. What can I help you with on this fine morning, Rhaveniel?

A gruff, groggy voice answers from inside Is he armed?

+++ An extra note is tacked to the bottom of flyers found posted all about the Free Lands +++ Satisfied customers everywhere! You can be next! You can contact IVAN BJORNISSON at the home of the Brave Companions in Pinedale, the Free Lands in the cabin formerly occupied by the Fighter's Guild Discounts and free work always available for the common folk. Please do not hesitate to seek our help if you are beset by monsters.

The door suddenly bangs open, and Ivan appears. He speaks quietly to the wench at the bar, who quickly gathers him up a basket of fruit and other things, which she covers with a cloth. He takes the basket, gives the wench a friendly pat on the ass, and departs, letting the door slam behind him.

Ivan appears, his furs dusted with snow. Hanging from an unstrung bow over his shoulder are two fat turkeys. He leans the bow staff against the wall of the Inn, and retrieves a plank from under the side eaves. Taking a handful of snow, he wipes it clean, then sits at the table. He fishes a small pattern-welded knife from his belt pouch, and whets it a few times on a stone from the same pouch. He reaches behind himself to fetch the birds, then proceeds to clean them with quick, efficient movements. Once that is done, he again cleans the board with snow, and then banks the fire a bit, revealing a good bed of coals. Going back around the side of the inn, he returns with two forked sticks and an iron rod, which he arranges as a large rotisserie over the fire. A few minutes later, he enters the Inn, then comes back out with a basket covered with cloth. Ivan removes the cloth, revealing some sprigs of herbs, some garlic, and some Vleanoan oranges, and begins preparing these condiments. The garlic is peeled, and inserted into knife cuts directly into the flesh of the birds. The oranges are peeled, and inserted into the cavity of the birds, along with the herbs. Next, he takes some linen cord from his pouch, and, now using his knife as an awl, sews up the birds. Finally, they are speared with the iron rod and placed over the firepit. Mmmm hmm. Nothing like a hot stuffed bird after killing monsters. Makes the day complete, it does. Ivan goes back into the inn, and returns moments later with a bottle of elvish wine. He unlimbers his tankard, sits down on a stump, and stretches his feet towards the fire. Gotta be careful I don't develop a taste for this stuff, I'm not sure my pockets will support such vice... Ivan reaches out and lazily turns his rotisserie.

Ivan gets a mug 'o dark and starts off